i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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