I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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