I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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