Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
