my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
