every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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