Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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