Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
