Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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