My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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