Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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