i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
