if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
