In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
