my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
