he shaved USA in his pubs
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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