Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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