Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
