No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Your penis caused this!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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