He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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