Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
