somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
