You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize