Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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