Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
