he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
