This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
