Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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