I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
