Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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