so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
