I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just invented taco cereal.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You did what with his pubic hair?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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