Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
