im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Blood and glitter go together right?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
