I want to stick my p in your. b.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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