You're so nebulous sometimes
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
