It's a beautiful day for a hangover
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
