ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
