now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
