I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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