You can't motorboat a personality
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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