I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
