this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize