Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
