If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Randomize
