You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
