I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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