He uses pillows to masturbate.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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