i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
