I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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