It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize