if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
