dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
