Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
