Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
