the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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