question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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