He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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