He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
